mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
