I need help removing her.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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