my mouth tastes like poor choices
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
