You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
My vagina is officially offended.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
