can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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