Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
