I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
