and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
