open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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