i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
