4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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