im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Enjoy the penises
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
