I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
