wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
