as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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