I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
