I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
