May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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