oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
