i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
