So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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