I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
