she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
