is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize