Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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