BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
