it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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