Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
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