i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
