I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
