So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
