Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
