Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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