WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
they're like a gay fantastic four
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I think my nap took me to another dimension
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
