Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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