it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
