I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
