He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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