This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
