Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
