I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
