Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
