brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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