Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
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Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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