obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
We had sex on a dog bed..
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
