Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
