I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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