the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
