Whoa Z and x make the same sound
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
