You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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