i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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