I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
