i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
