the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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