and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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