"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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