At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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