that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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