So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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