afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
