my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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